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"Lloyd, I understand your concerns, and don't worry, I can handle your huffy, overwrought criticisms of our work. My only intention is making the best shorts possible with the least amount of unnecessary effort, so I'd rather nip your cataclysmic reactions well before they blossom into full blown shit storms. Everything else is going well, so your creative input won't be completely abandoned, even if you do whine a little. We've been pretty lucky with the other parts of this production; friends have filled in the actor and music roles nicely, and those alone are a tremendous part of effective film making. But what am I telling you all that for? You already know everything, you smartass film school graduate. Piss off. I'll give you some cinematic nuts: to suck on, buddy. Here's part 2. Yes, we are making fun of you in these shorts. But not much. Your heart is still there, that's all that counts. Chuck
"Charles, I'm not being defensive. You're the one being defensive... I'm not being defensive... My friend, I do now see where you are going with these silly little internet shorts (how many people do you really think are going to see these things again?), and I'm not entirely disappointed. For instance, I must admit a certain effectiveness of your craftsmanship this most recent volley of pixels: as we faded in to see our hero serenely poised in deep contemplation, a brilliant thought filled the aural soundscape, and I felt a sublime shudder down my spine. I then realized of course, that despite taking a different voice (that of the actor's), the sensation of being infused with such inspired verbosity (taken verbatim from my journal, thank you) was remarkably familiar to my typical state of mind. That is to say, I think you managed to capture at least a shade of my intellectual complexity with your voice over technique, and I wouldn't be surprised if a few of the more mentally agile members of your audience actually manage to taste of my delicate essence.... ...Do really stupid people know they are stupid, Chuck? Do they care? Does a tree enjoy the same orgasmic tingle dropping its fruit to the ground that a human does, spreading his seed? Maybe it just occurs over a longer period of time... Now that my work is becoming more recognized, I think I already feel the pull of the celebrated towards spiritual meanderings. And I don't mean a few yoga classes or some save the whales bumper stickers; I'm talking some down and dirty prophetic revelation type shit. I figured I should mention this, as there is nothing more shocking than a good friend (as I feel as if we are finally becoming, no?) suddenly unveiling obscure religious customs (esoteric chants, high concept hair cuts, clunky jewelry, etc); not to mention it will bust your street cred. But none of this misappropriated eastern mysticism shit for me, sir, I'm gonna go deep. I'm starting my own religion, with the following primary tenent: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF. That'll sell. In the zone,
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